i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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