I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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