the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
