he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
