I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
