I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
