i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
