allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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