We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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