Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
