Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
