No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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