I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize