Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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