I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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