Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
