Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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