adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
