Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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