you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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