That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
