so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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