Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize