That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're like the curious george of whores
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
