Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
