I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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