oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
