You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
