I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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