why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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