Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
