Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
