sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
