I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
