I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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