I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
