Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
