i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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