i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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