I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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