how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
