Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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