all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
