Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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