I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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