I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
