i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
