ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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