I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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