hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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