I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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