mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
