I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
