That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
