someone threw a dead crab at me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
