hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
