I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize