Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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