put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
