What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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