So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
