Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize