didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
