he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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