if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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