Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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