you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
