Where is the hickey?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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