Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize