we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
