I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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