I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize