And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently you make a good broom.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
